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Creating Soulitude

Micro-shifts that Transform Your Life. 

Soulitude is a place where I share actionable ideas about life, leadership & parenting based on Perceptual Control Theory. 

Exploring and transforming your mental models have a huge impact on your day to day life. 

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Nurturing Yourself by Letting Go of Comparisons

One of the key ways you make sense of the world is by comparing. It starts when you are young. What is the difference between a car and an SUV? Is this a flower or a weed? What makes one thing good and something else bad? Is there a continuum of good to bad or bad to good? Is what I’m doing serving me or not serving me? Comparing is one of the basic ways you develop a sense of who you are.


When you haven’t established the criteria by which you want to evaluate your life, you tend to compare yourself to others. You look to the Joneses to evaluate your living accommodations. You scan Vogue, Elle or Harpers Bizarre to judge your appearance. You follow MaryBeth Hyland and Barbara Corcron to gauge your career success. You join the 6.7 million followers of the Family Talk Podcast with Dr. Dobson to assess your family’s happiness. Yikes! Today’s social media places others at your fingertips and engages your endorphins with every “like”. Stop and remember no two humans are alike. Comparing yourself to others is an insult to nature and poisons your self-esteem.



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